I’m Losing It

I had put on a few pounds this winter, and I’m not proud of it.  Not enough exercise and near total abandon when it came to food has left me feeling fat and flabby.  After a winter—and a weekend—of gluttony, I’ve made a firm decision.  I’m losing it.



It was this set of photos that opened my eyes to my "situation," a.k.a. the back fat I was surprised to see through a bulky sweatshirt.  Don't worry, I didn't post the most offending photo.



The problem is, I’ve made this ‘decision’ several times during the past few months and I relapse within just a few days.  Too rainy to get out and walk?  Oh well, I’ll just have a few cookies.  Good intentions to eat healthy one day?  Out the window as soon as I crave a Cadbury egg.  (What are those things doing in my house, anyway?)  Things like cookies and Cadbury eggs shouldn’t even be here, but my willpower has gone from once-outstanding to meager at best.

And this is coming from an ex-smoker who quit smoking the old fashioned way—willpower, willpower and more willpower.

It’s amazing how quickly I’m able to make excuses for why I ‘deserve’ a sweet treat after dinner, or why it’s okay to slam a ton of Goldfish crackers after 11 p.m.  The excuses are fleeting, and in my current rational state I can’t even recount what they’d been.  But I can assure you they were lame.

I hope that, this time, by declaring my intentions publicly, I’ll gain some much-needed willpower and my declaration will actually mean something the next time a Cadbury egg is staring me down at the supermarket.  Let’s hope so.