Silence and solitude

Today I’m awake before the crack of dawn, something that’s become more normal since my babysitter went on vacation and will probably cease when she gets back. It’s practically the only time I’m ever alone, and it’s a great time to write, drink coffee and check out the blogs. And it’s nice to shower in the morning instead of at night – what a novelty, and something I totally took for granted before I had Nathan.

Lately I’ve been noticing when it’s silent in my house. Like now. Ahhhhhhhh. It’s something I had also taken for granted, or maybe just didn’t appreciate when I had the chance. I completely enjoy the sounds my 12-month-old son makes – his voice is the sweetest sound on earth. But it’s the cackle of the TV I’m looking to avoid.

I recently realized that whenever my husband enters the living room or family room, he turns on the TV. I think he’s one of those people who constantly needs something external to focus on. You know, the ones who have to watch TV or listen to music on their cell phones every second they’re on a train or bus or standing in line at a store.

I enjoy watching TV, but not casually, and not constantly.  Some people call it daydreaming, but I call it having my own thoughts. That’s what I do when the TV isn’t on or when I’m standing in line at a store.  And during my shows’ commercial breaks.  And it’s particularly hard to do when my husband walks into a quiet room and turns on the TV.

And it gets worse – he leaves the TV on when he walks away, leaving me trying to focus on what I’m doing while clenching my jaw until I realize I can finally turn the %$#&@*&^ thing off. I need to do something about this.

But for now, I’ll just enjoy the silence and solitude. And the hum of the baby monitor.